Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
