I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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