I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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