i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
