Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
