So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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