C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
