I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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