Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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