considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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