i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
