fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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