I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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