a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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