I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize