I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
