My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
