My nipple is on Facebook.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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