Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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