Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
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I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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