so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
