it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
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I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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