is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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