weddingsv make me drug and hornr
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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