I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
