Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
