Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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