Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
