my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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