please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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