He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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