I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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