Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
