also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Im part way to drunk.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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