well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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