billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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