make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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