I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
