why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
