does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
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are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
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For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.