Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon

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  (210): So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon http://tfl.nu/iac1
  Replies (18) Good night (5049) Bad night (989)
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  (914): View more from New York

  fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.

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  (914): fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no. http://tfl.nu/w88c
  Replies (17) Good night (1209) Bad night (5880)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.

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  (817): I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started. http://tfl.nu/bmag
  Replies (24) Good night (3458) Bad night (1162)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.

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  (573): You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now. http://tfl.nu/pagz
  Replies (7) Good night (4254) Bad night (979)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth

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  (602): I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth http://tfl.nu/7hav
  Replies (5) Good night (1460) Bad night (580)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.

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  (419): Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/1dog
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (595)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.

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  (770): He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican. http://tfl.nu/lruh
  Replies (21) Good night (1261) Bad night (629)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.

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  (519): If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving. http://tfl.nu/lmm0
  Replies (10) Good night (1187) Bad night (910)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.

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  (662): I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck. http://tfl.nu/9thm
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (745)
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  (353): View more from

  I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!

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  (353): I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?! http://tfl.nu/o40o
  Replies (2) Good night (901) Bad night (316)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.

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  (281): I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot. http://tfl.nu/j0eg
  Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (396)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?

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  (304): Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis? http://tfl.nu/2x4t
  Replies (6) Good night (937) Bad night (313)
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  (212): View more from New York

  When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.

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  (212): When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones. http://tfl.nu/g2sl
  Replies (5) Good night (544) Bad night (859)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.

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  (651): I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant. (715): I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40. http://tfl.nu/ewh2
  Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (541)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family

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  (201): I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family http://tfl.nu/3mx3
  Replies (4) Good night (437) Bad night (377)

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