ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He felt like a one man threesome
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid