there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The uberlube is also flammable
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
