Texts From Last Night

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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.

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  (575): This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai. http://tfl.nu/0dst
  Replies (3) Good night (783) Bad night (3169)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?

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  (440): dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top? http://tfl.nu/cai4
  Replies (20) Good night (6339) Bad night (1443)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

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  (812): i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities http://tfl.nu/t8hr
  Replies (7) Good night (5554) Bad night (1049)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.

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  (662): I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/47a7
  Replies (10) Good night (3107) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.

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  (919): I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels. http://tfl.nu/lt6v
  Replies (19) Good night (4521) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?

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  (575): So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation? http://tfl.nu/oofw
  Replies (17) Good night (5822) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...

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  (402): I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9... http://tfl.nu/1jeo
  Replies (2) Good night (3361) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.

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  (443): THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT. http://tfl.nu/04d2
  Replies (14) Good night (5238) Bad night (1624)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.

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  (240): im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself. http://tfl.nu/qkn1
  Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (2416)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.

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  (919): Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home. http://tfl.nu/79vz
  Replies (9) Good night (1520) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.

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  (608): I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college. http://tfl.nu/m4t3
  Replies (2) Good night (2086) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.

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  (314): It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/ccuk
  Replies (8) Good night (573) Bad night (2525)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?

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  (949): So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right? http://tfl.nu/9g1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1463) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"

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  (713): I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in" http://tfl.nu/49tf
  Replies (7) Good night (796) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.

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  (847): She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid. http://tfl.nu/spee
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (418)

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