Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.

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  (908): i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it. http://tfl.nu/dy81
  Replies (23) Good night (995) Bad night (1601)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?

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  (513): Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth? http://tfl.nu/ukqr
  Replies (22) Good night (5303) Bad night (1441)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.

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  (616): No flamethrowers. That is a direct order. http://tfl.nu/o0tj
  Replies (7) Good night (3355) Bad night (995)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  even the AIR tastes like tequila.

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  (910): even the AIR tastes like tequila. http://tfl.nu/sty9
  Replies (4) Good night (3195) Bad night (960)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense

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  (920): I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense http://tfl.nu/23hg
  Replies (5) Good night (2805) Bad night (801)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.

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  (302): He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was. http://tfl.nu/ureg
  Replies (6) Good night (1354) Bad night (2603)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.

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  (989): Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment. http://tfl.nu/uqhq
  Replies (20) Good night (3163) Bad night (1039)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.

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  (850): I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/47ku
  Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (828)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Lube is flammable

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who is this??

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  (502): Lube is flammable (404): Who is this?? http://tfl.nu/y4u7
  Replies (19) Good night (3925) Bad night (873)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.

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  (484): donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them. http://tfl.nu/hk6n
  Replies (0) Good night (1126) Bad night (848)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.

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  (443): Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again. http://tfl.nu/8fgb
  Replies (0) Good night (890) Bad night (474)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.

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  (860): He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/3zeb
  Replies (3) Good night (1332) Bad night (468)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.

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  (919): I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water. http://tfl.nu/3pkl
  Replies (1) Good night (870) Bad night (445)
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  (949): View more from California

  Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.

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  (949): Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook. http://tfl.nu/9gq2
  Replies (2) Good night (725) Bad night (380)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis

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  (224): Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis http://tfl.nu/y26w
  Replies (5) Good night (462) Bad night (269)

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