is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
nutella sex= disaster
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome