I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room