so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
