Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
