and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
