Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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