More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
