go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
