Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
