"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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