Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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