they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
