My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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