Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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