Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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