You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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