Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
