One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
