I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
