it hurts more in the daytime
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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