watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
